I could talk about numbers, growth, results. About successful launches and achieved metrics. But today, I want to talk about what remains unseen. About what hides between meetings, trips, investment rounds, and new projects.

I want to talk about the most human (and most painful) side of entrepreneurship.

Because, although entrepreneurship has given me everything… it has also cost me parts of myself that I have been slowly recovering.

I write this because I know I am not alone. Because behind every great success story, there are silences filled with anxiety, sleepless nights, broken relationships, fear, guilt, and uncertainty. And I believe it’s time to tell this story.

This blog is not a manual. It’s a door for other leaders, entrepreneurs, founders, or those trying to make it, to feel a little less alone.

Recommended: Top 10: Myths about what an entrepreneur is

Let’s begin, I am an entrepreneur 

Entrepreneurship is presented as if it were a glorious adventure, but no one tells you how much it weighs. They don’t warn you about the suffocating doubts.

I am Carlos Cobián, father, businessman, entrepreneur, DJ… I have worked many years to reach the point where I can now provide growth opportunities to others. From the outside, for many, my life might seem like a dream: building companies, impacting lives, traveling, luxuries, enjoying my hobbies, being a DJ because I’m passionate about it. But behind every achievement is a story that few know, one that isn’t told on magazine covers or in news headlines when success is discussed. It’s the story of the silent battles I fought, the sleepless nights, the fears that invaded me while I smiled at the world.

As a CEO, every decision is mine: from choosing the company’s direction to putting out daily fires. I remember one night, sitting in my office, with the clock striking midnight, and I couldn’t think clearly enough to make a decision that would have a major impact in the coming hours. My team trusted me, my family depended on me, and failure was not an option. But in my mind, failure was the greatest fear. For myself, for my children, for my team, for everyone who is with me in every project.

That feeling that everything that goes wrong is your fault isn’t just a perception; it’s a reality that consumes you. According to the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), trapping you in an exhausting cycle. In those moments, I felt like I was carrying an elephant, and there was no one else who could lift it for me.

But over time, I learned that responsibility, although heavy, also makes you grow. Each mistake taught me to trust my instincts, to ask for help when needed, to see falls as part of the process. Accepting the blame freed me, I would say today. It allowed me to grow.

I learned that responsibility is not just a weight; it’s also an opportunity to demonstrate your value.

The entrepreneur as superhero (and their mask)

We live in a culture that glorifies the “hustle.” That applauds those who sleep four hours, who say “yes” to everything, who never stop. The entrepreneur becomes, unwittingly, a kind of superhero. Always strong. Always in control.

But that’s only part of the story.

There’s a very apt analogy from Toby Thomas, CEO of EnSite Solutions: being a CEO is like riding a lion. From the outside, everyone says, “Wow, how brave, how strong, look at how he controls it.” But inside, you’re just thinking: how the hell do I get off this thing without it eating me?

I remember an interview in 2011 where Elon Musk said that building a company isn’t that fun because most startups fail, and as CEO, you have to distill the worst problems. He ended by recalling a phrase one of his friends told him: “starting a startup is like eating glass and standing on the abyss.” That’s why he adds that the first thing he must remind everyone is that “Entrepreneurship is not for everyone,” “Entrepreneurship, I would say, above all, is having a high pain threshold.”

LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman has also spoken about the challenges and price of entrepreneurship, and describes it as “Entrepreneurship is: jumping off a cliff and, during the descent, building an airplane.” He said this during his participation in What It Takes, an audio podcast produced by the American Academy of Achievement featuring intimate and revealing conversations with influential leaders.

Hoffman wrote an article developing the metaphor, explaining: “You have to believe you can achieve it. Next, you’ll need ingenuity. Building an airplane requires talent and skill, even in calm circumstances. In the chaotic race of a death-defying dive, you need agility. You need to react quickly. You need to be calm under pressure. You need to find the dive stimulating.

And then there are the stakes. If you don’t assemble the plane in time, it crashes. In real-world terms, you run out of money. That’s why speed matters. Once you jump off the cliff, the ground attacks you quickly. That’s why, in almost all cases, a slow-moving startup is dead. That’s part of what makes entrepreneurship so exhausting, because the default outcome, until the entire plane is up and running, is death. Not just for you, but for all the people you convinced to jump with you.”

That’s the dilemma.

Many of us survive by repeating mantras like “fake it till you make it.” Because there are clients expecting results, teams needing guidance, families believing in you. And you, although you may be falling apart, keep the mask on.

Four types of entrepreneurs who have marked me

After years of building, accompanying, and learning from hundreds of entrepreneurs, I can say that not all paths look the same from the inside. I’ve met many types of founders, but there are 4 profiles that have marked me for what they’ve taught me:

  1. The one who loses everything.
    This is the entrepreneur who risks even their soul for their dream. Who bets everything, without a safety net. Gives everything… and crashes. Loses money, confidence, relationships. And the most difficult: sometimes loses faith in themselves. But they are also, many times, the wisest. Because they have experienced it all. Because, if they decide to return, they do so with more humility, focus, and purpose than ever. And believe me, many come back stronger.
  2. The one who seems to “have it made.“
    This is the most common and the quietest. Has a company that operates well, generates decent income, lives an enviable stability. From the outside, everything is in place. But inside… they are empty. Doesn’t feel fulfilled, lives repeating processes without inspiration. Often, they remain in that gray zone for years because the fear of losing what’s secure is stronger than the desire to grow or change.
  3. The one who “made it”… and doesn’t know what to seek next.
    Because when everything you were is tied to your project, and that project no longer exists, who are you? This profile is the one who sold their company for millions, who fulfilled the goal that so many pursue, who supposedly “won the game.” But, once there, at the top, they discover they are alone. That money doesn’t fill the void, that identity tied to the project disappears, that the post-success silence can be deafening. I’ve seen founders enter into deep depression right when the world was celebrating them. Because no one taught them that, after the summit, there is also a void.
  4. The one who lives to work.
    There exists another type of entrepreneur, more common than it seems: the one who gives everything to work and keeps nothing for themselves. The workaholic disguised as a visionary, who justifies every all-nighter in the name of purpose, but is silently losing their health, their bonds, their ability to enjoy life without productivity in between. I know because I’ve been there too. And because I’ve met many leaders who, without realizing it, build empires… on the collapse of their body, mind, and emotions.

We were taught to measure value by the full agenda, by accumulated achievements, by the overflowing inbox. But no one taught us to put a brake on the obsession with doing, to stop defining ourselves solely by what we produce. At some point, success without balance becomes a prison. And if we don’t learn to slow down, the body, life, or health will do it for us.

That’s why I insist that entrepreneurship must leave room for the soul. That we don’t just talk about failure, but also about the invisible cost of “success.” Because it’s not just about creating companies… it’s about not losing yourself along the way.

Success, as defined by society, doesn’t guarantee fulfillment. Nor purpose. That’s why this path of entrepreneurship shouldn’t just be about scaling companies, but about building ourselves in the process.

May your company not be bigger than your well-being. May your success not cost you yourself. That’s also leadership. That’s also courage.

Think that success isn’t measured in figures; what good is success in business when your home is a disaster, there’s no communication, there are constant fights, you don’t enjoy being together, you lost that union because you prioritized figures. 

The scars that can’t be seen

The deepest wounds are the invisible ones.

Most entrepreneurs I’ve talked to know the 3 a.m. anxiety, the silent insomnia of thinking everything could fail, the functional depression disguised as hyperproductivity.

A study led by the University of Berkeley found that 72% of Entrepreneurs are affected by some mental health disorder. They add that 30% of entrepreneurs reported a life history of depression; Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – which I actually have – 19%, and a diagnosis of bipolarity in 11%.

Harvard Business School has highlighted the need to talk about the invisible crisis of mental health in business. How the pressure to give more, be better, strengthens a silent epidemic. They have documented how failure —so common in this path— severely impacts mental health. 

And yet, we keep doing it. 

Why? Because we believe in what we’re building. Because we feel a calling. But also because the system has made us believe that stopping is losing. 

I myself have had days when I didn’t know if I wanted to continue. Moments when silence weighed more than any debt. In which I felt I was failing not as a businessman, but as a human being. And that hurts more. 

Hypomania in entrepreneurs, according to Gartner

Complementing our exploration of entrepreneurs’ mental health, I think it’s worth incorporating the perspective of Dr. John Gartner, clinical psychologist and professor at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, who in his revealing book “The Hypomanic Edge: The Link Between (a Little) Craziness and (a Lot of) Success in America” presents a provocative but well-founded theory.

Gartner identifies hypomania, a more moderate version of manic disorder, as a temperament present in approximately 5% to 10% of Americans, with a potentially higher prevalence among entrepreneurs. 

“If you’re in a manic state, you believe you’re Jesus. If you’re hypomanic, you believe you’re God’s gift to technology investment. We’re talking about different levels of grandiosity, but the same symptoms,” the psychologist explains in his book. 

The fascinating thing about this condition is how it manifests in traits traditionally associated with business success: inexhaustible energy, overflowing creativity, extraordinary resilience, capacity to take risks, and an unwavering confidence that borders on grandiosity. These characteristics, when productively channeled, can become the engine of revolutionary innovations and transformative companies. 

A cultural predisposition to entrepreneurship

Gartner proposes a theory: the abundance of hypomanics (and therefore entrepreneurs) in countries like the United States could be related to the migratory nature of its formation.

“We are a self-selected population.” “Immigrants possess unusual ambition, energy, drive, and risk tolerance that allow them to risk for a better opportunity. These are temperament traits with a biological basis. If you seed an entire continent with them, you’ll get a nation of entrepreneurs.”

This perspective adds a cultural and historical dimension to the entrepreneurial predisposition we see in societies with strong migratory tradition, as is the case in many Latin American countries.

The price behind…

However, this same hypomanic energy that drives success also hides a significant danger: those who possess it have a much greater risk of falling into depression. “They’re like border collie dogs; they need to run,” says Gartner. “If you keep them locked up, they destroy the furniture. They go crazy, just going around in circles. That’s what hypomanics do. They need to be busy, active, overworking.”

It’s not just failure that can trigger depressive episodes in these entrepreneurs, but any circumstance that restrains their natural impulse toward constant activity and the pursuit of achievements. Paradoxically, even success can become a trigger when it’s not accompanied by new challenges.

Why do we stay silent?

Because silence is part of the unspoken pact. A leader is expected not to doubt. Not to falter. To have all the answers.

Toxic masculinity, moreover, has taught many men not to show emotions, not to ask for help. “You have to endure. Be strong. You can’t let anyone see weakness.”

But that model is broken.

I’ve met founders with apparent success who lived trapped by their own companies. Leaders who no longer knew who they were without their business. People who had given everything and had been left empty inside.

I dare say that most successful entrepreneurs have had moments when they seriously thought about giving up. They just don’t say it.

The “B-side” of success

There’s an article that has impacted me for some years since I read it and that I recommend: “The Psychological Price of Entrepreneurship” by Jessica Bruder for Inc Magazine. It evidences that hidden reality behind business success: the profound psychological and emotional challenges entrepreneurs face. She outlines 3 points of what is understood as that other side of the coin, in this case, of success.

  1. Post-success: Paradoxically, even after achieving success, many entrepreneurs experience emptiness or depression.
  2. Impostor syndrome: Persistent feeling of not deserving the success obtained or fear of being “discovered.”
  3. Work addiction: The intense rhythm becomes an addiction difficult to abandon even after success.

I recommend the blog: The Impostor Syndrome, the enemy of leaders

Learning to let go, to negotiate with yourself

No entrepreneur builds alone, but trusting others was a hard lesson. At first, I wanted to control everything: every plan, every detail. My projects required everything from me, or at least that’s what I thought. I believed that leaving it in someone else’s hands felt like a betrayal to myself.

Until I found myself in the strongest and most painful personal crisis of my life. The loss of my father and my wife within 3 months of each other and the ravages of the pandemic that impacted the world. At that moment, I had no choice but to hand over my business to my partner and my work team to take care of my children and the effects of the crisis. I had to dedicate myself to the space that needed me most, and my children will always be my priority.

I read in an article published in the Entrepreneurship Research Journal that many entrepreneurs struggle with this reluctance, and I was no exception. But when I took the step, when I let go of the reins, my team grew, the business strengthened, and I had more time to be with and support my family. Trusting is not losing control, I understood, it’s gaining freedom. You gain freedom when you help other leaders to form, to give their best, and build alongside you.

Surrounding yourself with talent and trusting in it is the key to scaling.

Changing the script: humanizing success

What would happen if we started to talk? If we stopped associating success with silent suffering?

Recognizing that this isn’t easy, that mental health matters, that well-being is also success, can be revolutionary!

Redefining success is part of the new leadership: prioritizing health, bonds, rest, purpose. Understanding that the most effective leader isn’t the busiest, but the most conscious.

Vulnerability, far from being weakness, is a VALUABLE tool.

When a leader speaks, others dare to do so too. This is how more human, more real cultures are created, where everyone has permission to be.

Today, I celebrate that prominent figures are beginning to speak publicly about their struggles; this is changing the narrative. I also celebrate that wellness programs are being created and that a movement toward a more holistic definition that includes well-being in addition to business success is being promoted.

The emergency plan

We can’t expect the system to change if we don’t start with ourselves. Here, I share a checklist for emotional survival for entrepreneurs:

  1. Get therapy or have an emotional mentor. You are not alone.
  2. Eat well, sleep better, move more. Your body is your first business.
  3. Surround yourself with friends who have nothing to do with your company. They will remind you who you are.
  4. Set boundaries. Work cannot invade everything.
  5. Don’t confuse yourself with your company. You are more than that.
  6. Have an emotional (and financial) “cushion.” Anticipate the downturns.
  7. Celebrate the small things. Not everything is success or failure.
  8. Disconnect without guilt. You deserve to exist beyond a screen.
  9. Don’t distance yourself from those you love. They value what you do, but they need you.

The measure of success

My journey as an entrepreneur hasn’t been perfect, but it has been mine. I have faced responsibility, financial fear, the struggle to trust, imbalance, and loneliness. And in each challenge, I have found a lesson.

This article is my offering: a reminder, a call to take care of yourself, a push to keep going.

If you feel that weight, seek help. Talk to someone. Prioritize yourself. As I always say, “Success is not just what you achieve, but who you become in the process.” May my story inspire you to write yours.

Nota final: les comparto bibliografía adicional de valor sobre este tema

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